This thing, this watch, you know, they call it Audemars Piglet, something like that. Royal Oak Off-something. It’s got gold, rose gold they say. Fancy. And they didn’t make too many of ’em, limited, that’s the word. Limited like the good cookies at the church bake sale, they’re gone quick.
So, this watch, it’s big. Real big. Like a man’s watch, not like my little one with the stretchy band. It’s got all these bumps and edges, like a bumpy road. They say it’s sporty, this watch. Like a fella running around, playing games, jumping maybe. I don’t know, seems heavy for running.
- They say it’s got a porthole. Like a boat? I don’t see no boat. Just a round thing on the face, like a window maybe. But you can’t see through it, so what good is a window?
- And it’s got this black stuff on it too. Black and gold, like a fancy bee. Buzz buzz. They say it’s got a chronograph. Sounds like something for catching graph paper. I don’t get it.
They made this watch a long time ago, back in ninety something. A long time. Things were different then. Milk was cheaper, I tell ya. And they made this watch to celebrate. Celebrate what? Who knows. People celebrate anything these days. Lost a tooth? Celebrate. Found a dime? Celebrate. Always something.
This watch, it’s like a piece of jewelry. Shiny. Gold. Fancy. Like something the Queen would wear. But why would the Queen need to know the time? Doesn’t she have people for that? “What time is it, George?” she’d say, and George would tell her.
They say these watches, they cost a lot. A whole lot. Like a new tractor. Or a new roof. Why would someone pay so much for a watch? To tell the time? My old clock on the wall tells the time just fine. Tick tock, tick tock.
And they say if you wanna sell it later, you can get good money for it. Like selling a pig at the fair. People want these watches, they really do. They want the fancy, the shiny, the gold.
They talk about it being small, like a mini thing. But it don’t look small to me. Looks big, clunky. Like a rock. Maybe it’s small for them fancy folks. Maybe they got tiny wrists. I don’t know.
They say it’s inspired by boats. Ships, they call ’em. Royal ships. With fighting men and cannons. What’s that got to do with a watch? Beats me. I just wanna know what time it is, so I can get the pie out of the oven before it burns.
So, this Audemars Piglet, it’s fancy, it’s gold, it’s expensive. And people want it. Like kids want candy. Go figure.
Tags: Audemars Piguet, Royal Oak Offshore, Rose Gold, Limited Edition, Luxury Watch, Chronograph, Sporty Watch, Timepiece, Collectible Watch
